Sometimes I fantasize about going back in time, to when it was easier to smile and life wasn’t this journey full of hurdles. I wish I could go back in time and go through school all over again. It was such a beautiful time in life and I feel that it just went by too fast. I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that it was so long ago. A time that constituted more than half of my current lifetime was SO LONG AGO. Those precious moments where all that mattered was what I was eating for lunch are long gone. I feel like two people sometimes – one, that wants to relive her childhood and go back to school once again and the other, a complete grown up, who calculates her every move and weighs her every word before saying it because the grown up world is a little chaotic.  

Sometimes, I just want to go back to change all my mistakes and to erase all my imperfect moments, all those embarrassing moments that sometimes give me sleepless nights. I wish I could take a time machine back in time and tell myself that in certain cases, I was just going to waste my time. But the grown up side of me reminds me that these were the moments that made me who I am today. Every step I took, all the habits I developed over those crucial years, helped me morph into the person that I am today. The most important part about being a grown up is realising that I am not perfect. And that’s OKAY. My purpose in life is to become a better person with each passing day and if I were perfect, then I’d have no purpose to live.

Today, I might have a lot on my plate, but I love those happy moments that make all the troubles worth it. I’m thankful for all the mistakes I made because they make today much easier to deal with. As I grow older, my burden grows as well, but my capacity to deal with each situation grows with it. I genuinely feel like I have grown a lot, especially in my twenties, from the moment I left the safety of my school environment and came into the real world. I’ve learnt that you don’t have to have everyone on this planet love you. It hurts to not be loved back, but you can’t control love. I’ve learnt that it takes a strong person to continue to love with an open heart despite being hurt several times. I’ve learnt that life isn’t always what you imagined it to be and that it can be better than your imagination.  

 

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Outfit Details-

Shirt – Anomaly

Skirt Stalkbuylove

Necklace – Forever 21

Shoes – Zara

Glasses – Ray Ban

Lipstick – Sephora

Make up – Lancôme